all i want is to love and be loved

isn't that what everyone wants? sometimes i'm so head over heels about this love i have for one person i forget all about God being there whenever i need Him. all i want is to love and be loved and i got that love from God. im fussing over this love for this one person that i may never have the guts to tell...i'll wait till summer conference but i probably wont even have the guts. things between us aren't that bad now, we talk like normal again but rarely do we have alone time to talk. theres always someone there or he's never there when im alone. im reading and hoping to have him there next to me just sitting there like that day may 22. he knew something was wrong and listened, sitting next to me the whole time. i really want that night again. where we're just next to each other even if its just silence, just him being there comforts me. i wonder what the chances are that he knows or even accepts me....he's reading that book Angels&Demons. i read it last summer and it was nice. its up to that point where sometimes i dont even say anything to me because im afraid of what he'll think of me. some people can fall in "love" so easily but love does take a long time. i will only say i like him alot because love is such a strong word. God loves me i know. i really really like him up to the point where im nervous around him sometimes but i want to feel that comfort when im around him like we had before. i really want to just handball with him again. i really miss those days. where i didnt need to think of anything else.

where did those days go? i think about him so much, see him so much, but its all inside of me. it's all kept inside and maybe i'll never get the chance to tell him.