i just read something. it makes me feel like life is a routine. is it? we go through the same thing everyday, school, church, clubs. you gotta wake up every morning and do it. sometimes, the motivation isn't even there. these last few days of school are passing by so fast, i don't even know it. it feels like i didnt get anything from this year at school. what have i learned?
when he says he's losing it all, it just makes me feel even sadder knowing i can't help him.
今天我没有去中文班。我真的不想去。我不知道我想了么。我在教會彈鋼琴和打手球。我等他回来。 大哥也没有来=（ 我真的希望他今天会来的！我问很多人踏有没有来，我问他的大哥。可是我不想人觉得我喜欢他，他只是我的大哥。我喜欢的人。。。他今天要去stm 的烧烤。 很多cana人去了烧烤。今天有倆个新人来到教會，他们只说中文。他们刚刚来美国。我陪他们直到要走。今天我没有开心过。
我看见他个blog之后，我觉得他很寂寞。我也觉得我不可以帮他，我不知道我可以说什么！ 我真的想安慰他。。。可是我怕他不想分享他的寂寞。他觉得每一个星期，我们打手球是一个 例程。他觉得他不是用了他的时间好。他也不知道这个时间去了哪里。我看到的时候真的不开心。他也说，他不知道他打手球的原因。 他打因为他想放出他的感受。这个原因不是不好，也不是好。有很多人到会像这样。我有时候也会这样。他说他失去自己的感觉，全部衰落了。。。我真的很怕他会忘记我，他会失去全部的感觉。。。
我只知道我觉得我们很close<3 我对他有感觉就够了。
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
好开心啊！
我陪他打手球最开心的！我觉得我到天堂一样，和他一起真的令人开心啊！我好像一个疯人。你知道吗，我和他打手球的时候，我们很多时候会撞到的。 他会说我在他的道路，可是我觉得我们很close啊！很多时我真的想知，他想什麼。 我每一次看到他我会想。。。你想什麼，你对我有没有感觉？ 我知道你说过我不朋友，我对他是一个妹妹一样。我们是一家人。 他说过可是我希望过了夏天，我们可以更密切。 我会暗地裡喜欢他。因为我喜欢他，我不想他知道。如果他不喜欢我的，我也想和他做朋友。我好喜欢我们现在的關係，我不想因为他知道我喜欢他，我们朋友也不可以做。。。
他有没有看过我的博客網站？他也有一个，但是我不知道他有没有看过我的。我真的想他讀过我的blog! 如果他讀过，他会明白。他会明白我的心。
我要記住问他，他的中文名是什麼！！
他今天终於赢了他第一个，單身比賽！ 我为他很开心！！他玩了八个月终於赢了！
他有没有看过我的博客網站？他也有一个，但是我不知道他有没有看过我的。我真的想他讀过我的blog! 如果他讀过，他会明白。他会明白我的心。
我要記住问他，他的中文名是什麼！！
他今天终於赢了他第一个，單身比賽！ 我为他很开心！！他玩了八个月终於赢了！
Friday, May 29, 2009
dept vs, dept vball!!
thanks to minje that gave me the free ticket ;D i bet the phys.ed dept won. lol they were the best that was there. mr. holland did okay xD at least i can laugh at him about it. and there was this korean english teacher that played madd good!! i gotta upload stuff tomorrow.
mr. tao broke the blackboard today LOL madd funny!! you see that big half board broken xD
今天我看到他的时候我没有很开心，因为大哥的婆婆在醫院。 这个星期我过的不开心。 因为我在家里的时候不好。我对大哥说我的问题，他也不开心。可是我不想大哥不开心。所以我很多不开心的事也不会对他说。我怕对他说，他会不开心。我也不想大哥担心。我希望大哥的婆婆会早日治愈。 我不想看到大哥不开心。 谢谢大哥对我的好意。谢谢他照顾我。对不起我麻烦你。
平时我看到我喜欢的人我会很开心，可是今天不一样。一定是我病了。我头很痛阿！大哥叫我去睡觉但是我想和我喜欢的人说话。明天我们去打手球。 我希望明天我会好一点。我想去打手球和蓝球！我很多时候看他。他对我很重要的!!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
我找到我的辛福了
我终於找到我的辛福。
我有勇敢去说給他，我说我很喜欢他。我不知道他想什么。。。
我对他说；
“我想我真的喜欢你了. 可是我不知道你想什麼...
我想你不喜欢我的.. 对不对?”
如果他知道我说什么，他会说什么了?
i think i really like you, but i don't know what you're thinking.
i don't think u like me, right?
我有勇敢去说給他，我说我很喜欢他。我不知道他想什么。。。
我对他说；
“我想我真的喜欢你了. 可是我不知道你想什麼...
我想你不喜欢我的.. 对不对?”
如果他知道我说什么，他会说什么了?
i think i really like you, but i don't know what you're thinking.
i don't think u like me, right?
fire in tech?!
5.27
There was a real fire in school today!! In the boy’s bathroom, someone set a garbage can on fire. It sucks that now only the 1st and 7th floor bathrooms are open D: it was during bio lab and stupid Ms. O’Brien wouldn’t let us out. Then I told her that there were people running outside and when she stepped out she smelled the smoke. Then she finally let us leave. They didn’t let us leave the school, we were put into the auditorium. I can’t believe that she didn’t let us out and our classroom was right around the corner of the fire. It smelled so bad! And when we came back up to the bio lab room I had to rush to finish the lab D: I wanted to go up to the 7th floor to see my dai low again. I had a good 10 minutes to talk to him. Maybe I shouldn’t go up anymore cuz they might recognize me. But it’s all for my dai low. I ended up not going to our championship finals…I felt like I was going to throw up or something so I didn’t go.
I ended up going to church for youth corner and I slept on the pue for half hour or so. I was so tired and about to pass out. I had such a big headache too. I was suppose to go to the game but I didn’t want to travel. =( I got a bit better after my nap and Tim came also. While I was napping a lot of people came lol and I didn’t even notice. My nap was soooo good! I got a bit better in the end and I went to chillax at Bedford. I saw coach there, I haven’t seen him in so long too. I got so much going on I didn’t even want to play handball when I got there. I walked around and sat on the side of the courts. Then when everyone left I still just sat there. I didn’t want to bother my dai low again. I’ve been bothering him so much with my problems already and I felt so bad. I didn’t know who to turn to though. I talked to him for a while on the phone then started going to the train. Bad things happened…I ended up just walking halfway and hopping a turnstile.
I really appreciate my dai low always being there.
I didn’t really talk to him today =T I was really tired and sick I didn’t get a chance to talk to him a lot. At least I know he cares for me <3
There was a real fire in school today!! In the boy’s bathroom, someone set a garbage can on fire. It sucks that now only the 1st and 7th floor bathrooms are open D: it was during bio lab and stupid Ms. O’Brien wouldn’t let us out. Then I told her that there were people running outside and when she stepped out she smelled the smoke. Then she finally let us leave. They didn’t let us leave the school, we were put into the auditorium. I can’t believe that she didn’t let us out and our classroom was right around the corner of the fire. It smelled so bad! And when we came back up to the bio lab room I had to rush to finish the lab D: I wanted to go up to the 7th floor to see my dai low again. I had a good 10 minutes to talk to him. Maybe I shouldn’t go up anymore cuz they might recognize me. But it’s all for my dai low. I ended up not going to our championship finals…I felt like I was going to throw up or something so I didn’t go.
I ended up going to church for youth corner and I slept on the pue for half hour or so. I was so tired and about to pass out. I had such a big headache too. I was suppose to go to the game but I didn’t want to travel. =( I got a bit better after my nap and Tim came also. While I was napping a lot of people came lol and I didn’t even notice. My nap was soooo good! I got a bit better in the end and I went to chillax at Bedford. I saw coach there, I haven’t seen him in so long too. I got so much going on I didn’t even want to play handball when I got there. I walked around and sat on the side of the courts. Then when everyone left I still just sat there. I didn’t want to bother my dai low again. I’ve been bothering him so much with my problems already and I felt so bad. I didn’t know who to turn to though. I talked to him for a while on the phone then started going to the train. Bad things happened…I ended up just walking halfway and hopping a turnstile.
I really appreciate my dai low always being there.
I didn’t really talk to him today =T I was really tired and sick I didn’t get a chance to talk to him a lot. At least I know he cares for me <3
howards place
我在howard的家里. 我不知道去那里. 我不想打擾大哥. 他幫助我多了. 我現在不知道我可以去那里. 大哥不在家里. 我不想回家. 我也不想打擾HOWARD 太多. 我想等大哥回家,那後打电话给他. 在學校的時間咼了很快. 我在七午餐看到大哥. 我没有人可以一起聊天.
我很想和他聊天可是我门没有话说.
他一定覺的我很怪異的.
為什麼我会喜欢他?
他对我很重要的. 我真的想他知道我喜欢他. 我想知道他想什麼.
我很想和他聊天可是我门没有话说.
他一定覺的我很怪異的.
為什麼我会喜欢他?
他对我很重要的. 我真的想他知道我喜欢他. 我想知道他想什麼.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
thank you dai low
5.26.09
My dai low helped me out again today. I wasn’t gonna call him but around8ish I did. I got really cold and I couldn’t take it any longer. I fell asleep for about half hour on the benches cuz it was so cold but it was God waking me up when the dogs were barking. He kept telling me I shoulda called earlier but I really didn’t want to bother him. I feel bad for bothering him so much whenever I have something going on. It’s like I had nowhere to go and my dai low was the only one I could trust. I have to repay him somehow. I appreciate all the help he gave me. I don’t think I should call him next time though cuz it might be bothering him. He was asleep when I called him at 6ish and I did my homework at the park. I was shivering a lot and I couldn’t stop. I’m not used to the cold. I’m a summer baby so maybe I just don’t like the cold. We talked for a bit and he was filling out his sdc teacher application. I hope he gets his homework and everything done. I thank God for a dai low like him. He gave me his phone to use just in case cuz mine is outta batteries. I love my dai low.
My dai low helped me out again today. I wasn’t gonna call him but around
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
7th period lunch.
i went up to lunch looking for my"book" but i never found it =(
hahas tim was mad when i got there xD my dai low was like i'm cutting D: but i had a pass. so i saw tiff there and i gotta remember to hand in my sdc volunteer application afterschool D: i keep forgetting! then idk what to do for a few hours...i bascially have nothing to do afterschool. that sucksssss i gotta find something to do!!
hahas tim was mad when i got there xD my dai low was like i'm cutting D: but i had a pass. so i saw tiff there and i gotta remember to hand in my sdc volunteer application afterschool D: i keep forgetting! then idk what to do for a few hours...i bascially have nothing to do afterschool. that sucksssss i gotta find something to do!!
fire drill 5th period
i saw my dai low timmy outside lol i didnt want to go back to french so i took my time but i wasnt back last so i didnt get in much trouble. of course i knew that andy would be the last one back to class. lol and madame lagnado asked him where he was. i didnt see tim on the train this morning but i did see a girl with a ditmas tank. it said law and community service like the one angela had. i hope it rains later. i dont know what to do after school. hmmmss william told me to go to staten island and handball but i don't really feel like handballing and i'm wearing flats. i wonder if i should go to handball later. mom told me to go to an appointment with her later. its at 5 so i really don't have anywhere to go afterschool except around here. i'll probably ask around at 7th period lunch later. im gonna go see tiff and tim. i wonder what they will be doing afterschool. i needa get that kiss a senior good bye thing for dai low too. but its $3!! ho gwuy aahhh. i wanna get it for him tho. =T i gotta ask during 7th lunch
i was thinking about him soo much last night. he's always the last persion i talk to before i go to sleep >.< i wanna hb with him later but but he might be tired from yesterday and he probably stayed up pretty late to do hw. =(
i was thinking about him soo much last night. he's always the last persion i talk to before i go to sleep >.< i wanna hb with him later but but he might be tired from yesterday and he probably stayed up pretty late to do hw. =(
Monday, May 25, 2009
memorial day ;D
AWESOME DAY!!
spent it at justin's place with julie, benny, nelson, calvin and philip!
me, julie, nelson, justin and uncle ken lost the basketball game to them =( but it was 21-13! we got more then half lol. thats what justin was hoping for. well in the morning i thought i was gonna be late taking the ferry but i wasnt ;D mad funnny! benny calvin and philip took the ferry to staten island and back just for fun! LOL they were there so early. i managed to get coffee and still make it there. i was the last to get there but i wasnt late =) there was a nice breeze on the ferry. uncle ken drove us from the ferry to justins place. i finally saw how big his house was. it's like 3x my place! his room is the first place u see when u walk in and the door to the basement is in his room too! thats soo scary!! i would be afraid to have that room but he has a pretty big room. first we stayed in his room and played video games while me and julie talked. i finally found a person i can relate to! then they migrated upstairs to the living room and we played MAHJONG! yeaaaaa. i teamed up with justin cuz i sucked -.- but we won the 2 games!! so happy ahh. i got a bit better in it now ;D then the food came!!! it was sooo GOOD! i love the food. it was barbcue food. i liked the chicken wings and steak! it was my first time eating steak LOL and we played the most deprived game. it was actually the girls that ended up winning. only me julie and rachael was the only girls playing. at least i didnt win this time =) i dont wanna be most deprived. after food we rested for a bit and went to a park to play basketball...it was fun but i didnt want to make my sunburn worse =( we rushed to get back and make the ferry but we couldn't make it in time =[ so uncle ken drove us home. i found out this new christian radio station! i never heard of it before. thats so awesome. we played music and i plugged in my sansa for chinese music. dui mian de nui hai kan guo lai! madd fun. i got droppped off first then i guess nelson and julie. just had an awesome day. next thursday...KARAOKE!
i finally found someone to relate to;julie<3 i can relate to her soo much and i'm glad i can talk to her about him. and i know who she <3 i found out that someone in hebron also likes him...it's true that it's hard to understand him but he can understand whatever i say. he probably does talk to alot of girls and i don't think he likes me likes me. like i said before. he thinks of me as a sister...i got the whole summer to change that hopefully. i feel so close to him sometimes and i feel like he really understands me but i can hardly understand him. he doesnt really express much. i'm a naturally unhappy person...it's true. i'm so happy that we can relate so much tho.
my dai low is back from tecbc!
spent it at justin's place with julie, benny, nelson, calvin and philip!
me, julie, nelson, justin and uncle ken lost the basketball game to them =( but it was 21-13! we got more then half lol. thats what justin was hoping for. well in the morning i thought i was gonna be late taking the ferry but i wasnt ;D mad funnny! benny calvin and philip took the ferry to staten island and back just for fun! LOL they were there so early. i managed to get coffee and still make it there. i was the last to get there but i wasnt late =) there was a nice breeze on the ferry. uncle ken drove us from the ferry to justins place. i finally saw how big his house was. it's like 3x my place! his room is the first place u see when u walk in and the door to the basement is in his room too! thats soo scary!! i would be afraid to have that room but he has a pretty big room. first we stayed in his room and played video games while me and julie talked. i finally found a person i can relate to! then they migrated upstairs to the living room and we played MAHJONG! yeaaaaa. i teamed up with justin cuz i sucked -.- but we won the 2 games!! so happy ahh. i got a bit better in it now ;D then the food came!!! it was sooo GOOD! i love the food. it was barbcue food. i liked the chicken wings and steak! it was my first time eating steak LOL and we played the most deprived game. it was actually the girls that ended up winning. only me julie and rachael was the only girls playing. at least i didnt win this time =) i dont wanna be most deprived. after food we rested for a bit and went to a park to play basketball...it was fun but i didnt want to make my sunburn worse =( we rushed to get back and make the ferry but we couldn't make it in time =[ so uncle ken drove us home. i found out this new christian radio station! i never heard of it before. thats so awesome. we played music and i plugged in my sansa for chinese music. dui mian de nui hai kan guo lai! madd fun. i got droppped off first then i guess nelson and julie. just had an awesome day. next thursday...KARAOKE!
i finally found someone to relate to;julie<3 i can relate to her soo much and i'm glad i can talk to her about him. and i know who she <3 i found out that someone in hebron also likes him...it's true that it's hard to understand him but he can understand whatever i say. he probably does talk to alot of girls and i don't think he likes me likes me. like i said before. he thinks of me as a sister...i got the whole summer to change that hopefully. i feel so close to him sometimes and i feel like he really understands me but i can hardly understand him. he doesnt really express much. i'm a naturally unhappy person...it's true. i'm so happy that we can relate so much tho.
my dai low is back from tecbc!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
chilling at justin's tomorrow
had mucho fun at church today ;D and tomorrow we'll be gong over to justin's place to chill and julie is going so i won't be the only girl there =D
i got dumplings for lunch with justin and benny. we went back to church to eat and i went to school late again lol i told them i was sick. and i had a few lateness and absences already so i didnt want to be absent again. i hate how we don't do anything in chinese school. we don't learn nothing no more! the teacher is so bad yo. we just be chilling and talking the whole time. i wish i had a teacher that can teach me something! i don't wanna waste money going there and not learning anything! i really want a better teacher next year!
we be mad tight now<3>
Saturday, May 23, 2009
sunburned again?!
i just noticed that i got sunburned again today =( its on my shoulder again! its the part where i couldnt' get tanned last time and where to strap to my tank was. another tank sunburn =( that suckssss. i woke up soo early today! probably the earliest. justin woke me up around 9ish and i emded up taking the same train as him again. lol we hb for about 9 hours today and i bought a gallon of water to last the whole day. and it worked! i skipped on lunch and had a cream cheese on a roll for dinner. it was a great day!! i hit a few rolls today!! so happpy and justin was like "thats how we roll!" hahas mad fun. it so hot today, i couldn't really play well till the last game where me and austin won! had a nice day =)
it's not on purpose but we just get closer together every game. i feel closer and closer to him. <3 joahaeyo.
he says that im different then other girls. i don't over react on cute things. is that suppose to be a good thing? i forgot to ask him too...
it's not on purpose but we just get closer together every game. i feel closer and closer to him. <3 joahaeyo.
he says that im different then other girls. i don't over react on cute things. is that suppose to be a good thing? i forgot to ask him too...
Friday, May 22, 2009
teddy bear
Tim got me this teddy bear hoping it will bring my week up a bit. i been having a pretty bad week. it's like everything is falling apart. i really want to just be outside and wander but Tim doesn't really want me to and as his mui mui, i don't want to get him sad. i really don't want him to know that part of me getting in so much trouble was cuz i went to so many of his games. like if he knew, then he would feel really bad. i'm really lucky to have a dai low like him tho. now whenever i see this teddy bear it will remind me not to go out and wander cuz he'll get worried. he didn't go to school today and i thought it was cuz i got him sick from staying out so late. it was his back pains lol he's getting old! xD having a dai low like this is irreplacable. he's out to TECBC with a bunch of other people. some people from bcbc went. diana, kingston, felix and tim went. i went to see them off at the bus. i hope they have fun! seeing this teddy bear was the only thing that pulled me back from wandering tonight.i was with simon today to his grandmas place in east broadway so he could drop off his bag. they speak fj but i understood a bit of what his grandma says cuz its kinda like mando. i got dumplings to eat ^_^ and i saved money! i used up 5 bucks buying tim food yesterday...also i dont want him to know. i went late to bible study but when i got there the boys were talking about guy stuff. even debby left the room for them to talk cuz there wasnt any girls there today. it got pretty lonely but i joined in after a while when they were done talking. after bible study since there were a few people that wanted to eat they brought food back to ocm to eat. bringing the old cana tradition back! chyeaaa i played around with the piano and attempted teaching Justin how to play tong hua. he like 1 measure down lolol then it came close to going home. i jus spent that last half hour in ocm just sitting outside. i wanted to be alone and i needed quietness to think. it was still loud tho. 605 where we were in was very loud and in the hallways, the other fellowship was very loud. but we're azns of course we're loud. justin saw me outside and sat with me a bit and more people came out to talk so i stayed in 603, the small dark room. i liked it there. it was so quiet and peaceful. i left around when justin left tho cuz they were so loud in 605...i wanted to keep distance from anyone i know cuz i don't want people to know what's going on. i don't want people to see the sadness in me. i want to keep it to myself. i don't want people getting worried so much over me. it's selfish to want that. i wanted to wander but i made a promise.
i jus love how he cares. even when people are having fun somewhere else he still stayed with me through the silence and listened to me. i'm kinda glad he's not going away this weekend so i have someone to be with. i feel jus so lonely sometimes. like no close friends or anything. and my dai low is gone to tecbc. i might go pick them up monday when they get back =] they'll probably be tired. i probably have nothing to do monday anyways except handball with people. i wonder how this weekend will turn out...
bad day;bad week
i been having a bad day...and mostly a bad week. im so glad that my dai low was there.Tim looks out for me like a dai low. if it wasnt for him i wouldnt have known where to go yesterday or what to do. i woulda been wandering places. its just been such a bad week i hope my weekend will be better. they're leaving for tecbc today. i'll go see them off. im gonna go up to the lunchroom later too. i wanna see mny dai low and tiff. thats what i did yesterday at bio lab too. i jus hope tomorrow will be a better day. tech lost in the finals yesterday =( not even thrid place but at least everyone was happy they got this far already =)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
bubble tea ;D
went around chinatown with william and xin ru after school. we had mad fun ;] camerawhoring! i gotta put the pics up tomorrow. xin ru and william finally saw him today lol she wanted to see him of course and he looks skinnier in person xD he's underweight!!! and william was nice enough to give us some time alone :] he's actually a good kid after all. =) well now i can't wait till tomorrow. it's tims game!! they better win 3rd place!! i was making a poster for them instead of doing my project lol. can't wait till tomorrow. i gotta get Tim food too! he got hungry after the game last time so i better get him food this time! and to congratulate their win cuz of course they'll win!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
we lost =(
we lost against Cardozo =( Tim wasnt that happy either. he wasn't crying like the other seniors in other schools were. i was really hoping that we can win! i even made signs to cheer them on! i might make t shirts or something for thursday. maybe a bigger poster is easier lol they still have a game for 3rd place on thursday but it's the earlier game. i gotta be there!! i was there with amy, dana, tiffany, kenny, kingston, diana, and david. we cheered him on like crazyyy. it's cuz we <3 Tim ;D one side was GO TECH, another was GO TIM #3 =D he was sooo embarrased LOL he just turned away when he saw the signs.
today was an alright day. i felt sick tho. i dont wanna get the swine flu =( i took the train home with Tim and i wanted to wander but i promised him not to...my dai low is awesome.=) i wonder what tomorrow will be like.
today was an alright day. i felt sick tho. i dont wanna get the swine flu =( i took the train home with Tim and i wanted to wander but i promised him not to...my dai low is awesome.=) i wonder what tomorrow will be like.
Monday, May 18, 2009
answered
well i got my answer today. he doesnt read blogs. i wasn't hoping for him to have read it cuz it woulda been akward. im working on the global paper... i just been thinking so much lately. a lot of things have been happening. some of them are jus too hard to deal with. i jus wanna give up on life sometimes. at least then i will be in Heaven with God. where my happiness will always be.
DDP again
aiyahhh he's checking the train project T_T and i got a math test later. the global test was easy =D im so happy that im diong so well in global. i just gotta do well on this math test. hahas i liike this keyboard, much quieter then the one at home. it would be better for typing at night. i fell asleep so quick last night lol it was so cold too.
im thinking too much again...i talked to xin ru about it too ^_^ i smile so much just talking about him. like she thinks hes average but to me he isn't.
yesterday at church me benny and justin brought the old cana tradition back!! we avtually brought our lunch back to church to eat instead of going out... but i was late for school. the other cana guys went out to eat. tim, stanley, felix calvin...those rich seniors lol jkjk i was still like an hour late T_T i was eating with them hahas. popeyes was gooood! i never had it before lol they bought a family meal with 10 pieces of chicken, 5 biscuits, fries and mashed potatoes. benny and justin ate like 4 pieces of chicken! they maddd fat LOL well they're underweight! they gotta eat moreeee. i ate one pieve of chicken and took pictures of them eating everything in 45 minutes! thomas came too. he was digusted of them LOL funnyy. well i went to school then i met up with tim kingston and julie. we went walking around then to the field met up with jess nd we went home. stupid trains! D: took me so long to get home!! and i walked around for bit.. after that longg story...had to stay up pretty late too.
im thinking too much again...i talked to xin ru about it too ^_^ i smile so much just talking about him. like she thinks hes average but to me he isn't.
yesterday at church me benny and justin brought the old cana tradition back!! we avtually brought our lunch back to church to eat instead of going out... but i was late for school. the other cana guys went out to eat. tim, stanley, felix calvin...those rich seniors lol jkjk i was still like an hour late T_T i was eating with them hahas. popeyes was gooood! i never had it before lol they bought a family meal with 10 pieces of chicken, 5 biscuits, fries and mashed potatoes. benny and justin ate like 4 pieces of chicken! they maddd fat LOL well they're underweight! they gotta eat moreeee. i ate one pieve of chicken and took pictures of them eating everything in 45 minutes! thomas came too. he was digusted of them LOL funnyy. well i went to school then i met up with tim kingston and julie. we went walking around then to the field met up with jess nd we went home. stupid trains! D: took me so long to get home!! and i walked around for bit.. after that longg story...had to stay up pretty late too.
!!!global project!
!!!! crapp im so not gonna finish!!! i kept talking to him last night i couldn't even work on this paper. my group is gonna hate me... and im procrastinating even more by blogging >.>
I'm surrounded but I feel all alone
I'm all alone in this world by myself
I'm sitting here staring out this window
And I'm wondering where you are
I'm sitting here staring out this window
And I'm wondering where you are
Sunday, May 17, 2009
how to build on a solid rock
my notes.
believe in god trust in god have faith in God
put your fears away, trust in God
don't let uncertainty stop you
our foundation is God
put distractions away, that hinder you from building on yourself
when u can't answer a question just say i don't know but i'll find out
build on little bricks
our foundation is strong because God is our foundation.
wonder if these are good notes...
maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me. i coulda sworn i saw one of my blogs on his away messages for a second then it was gone. it was the blog "he just makes me smile"
believe in god trust in god have faith in God
put your fears away, trust in God
don't let uncertainty stop you
our foundation is God
put distractions away, that hinder you from building on yourself
when u can't answer a question just say i don't know but i'll find out
build on little bricks
our foundation is strong because God is our foundation.
wonder if these are good notes...
maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me. i coulda sworn i saw one of my blogs on his away messages for a second then it was gone. it was the blog "he just makes me smile"
it all went to waste
all the hard work i put in doing the dance just went to waste. now no matter how much i wanna do it, i can't. i knew the dance nd everything. just cuz i couldn't go yesterday. they don't even understand how hard it was for me to juggle handball and dance. i had to give up handball practice so many times for dance and they are saying that i'd rather ditch practice for a picture? they don't understand at all and its been so far already. maybe it's that i don't understand them too....but i've gone so far already. the show is friday. im out...and there's nothing i can do anymore.
morning calls
this time it was different. i didnt mention a thing about waking up but he just asked me last night if i would like him to wake me up =) it made me just go happy. well maybe he is used to calling me on sunday mornings as he did a few weeks before. soo much joy in my heart after talking to him even though it was for a mere 8 minutes. he cares for me and i still wonder if he reads this blog. if he does i wonder what he will think. i really wonder...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
tech vball the to semi- finals!!
tech vball into the semi-finals!! let's go tech!!!!
kenny was there too! ^_^ we beat Walton that was seed 4 and now we're playing Cardozo on tuesday. it's gonna be tough game. they're seed 1!!! i gotta be there to cheer my dai low on!!!
gotta go to museum next weekend
Joyce's party was awesome! i loved the seafood there <3 hahas that was the only thing i liked and we sang happy birthday to joycee. i missed those ppl there. i hardly ever get to see them anymore but its like the memories we had was just yesterday. there isn't like any akwardness or anything cuz we can always reminiese. we had that friendship that tied us together back then nd we still got it. that's why i love them. we can be as LOUD as we want. and we'll never be separated. events like this will bring us back. can't wait till we go to the beach memorial day! i love days like these <3 never be replaced.
i gotta doo my global paper now although talking to him is such big distraction xD
kenny was there too! ^_^ we beat Walton that was seed 4 and now we're playing Cardozo on tuesday. it's gonna be tough game. they're seed 1!!! i gotta be there to cheer my dai low on!!!
gotta go to museum next weekend
Joyce's party was awesome! i loved the seafood there <3 hahas that was the only thing i liked and we sang happy birthday to joycee. i missed those ppl there. i hardly ever get to see them anymore but its like the memories we had was just yesterday. there isn't like any akwardness or anything cuz we can always reminiese. we had that friendship that tied us together back then nd we still got it. that's why i love them. we can be as LOUD as we want. and we'll never be separated. events like this will bring us back. can't wait till we go to the beach memorial day! i love days like these <3 never be replaced.
i gotta doo my global paper now although talking to him is such big distraction xD
his promises
the promises that he made <3 i hope he doesn't forget.
when he says "i'll make it up to u, i promise u" i just smile =)
when he says "i'll make it up to u, i promise u" i just smile =)
Friday, May 15, 2009
trying my best =)
i'm trying my best for everything. i answered a total of 8 questions on Tao's test today. i hope i did better. my french teacher is giving me more time on the test monday which is also good =) had an awesome time at Bible study and of course seeing some people just make my day. i had to go shopping with the girls for the show friday but i left early. i wasn't really in the mood for shopping cuz i just wanted to be at Bible study and hanging out. i left after being in Wet Seal... the shorts there were mad short. i felt so naked in them >.< we def couldn't wear them while dancing. they might not even let us go on stage wearing that lol i ended up only getting the colored shirts and they got the vests already. i needa get that too. although i really don't wanna waste my money getting a vest that i will hardly wear... and we still needa get good bottoms. def not skinny jeans cuz its gonna be mad hot so we needa find better shorts!! practice tomorrow at christina's place and joyce's party...i needa get them a present...
tomorrow ima be so busy!!! got museum to go, Tim's quaterfinal, dance practice, and Joyce's party!!! i gotta find something nice to wear too!! so busy ahhh. the museum and Tim's game is at the SAME TIME!! they're both at 12 T_T i dunno which to go to... most likely Tim's game cuz it's quaterfinals. they're playing seed 4 Walton, i wanna see them win! and i can always get answers from people with the project ;]
i said i won't talk about him that much but this won't be much. Jealousy is bad. i shouldn't any thoughts of that kind!! i'm so observant of what he does. i stare at him sometimes and sometimes i think he sees me just looking into his eyes. there are people that he's probably known wayyy longer so there's no reason to have jealousy. i feel like i do have this click with him. i wait for him because he's worth it. he's someone that i like very much but i don't want him to know. i love how he treats me so nice even though its just a sister thing. i feel so warm in my heart as i write about him =) i'm just wishing that tomorrow's plans will go well nd he will be with me the whole time. i enjoy my time with him. i want them to go as slow as possible and never end.
sometimes i hope for so much more that was never there and may never be there...
tomorrow ima be so busy!!! got museum to go, Tim's quaterfinal, dance practice, and Joyce's party!!! i gotta find something nice to wear too!! so busy ahhh. the museum and Tim's game is at the SAME TIME!! they're both at 12 T_T i dunno which to go to... most likely Tim's game cuz it's quaterfinals. they're playing seed 4 Walton, i wanna see them win! and i can always get answers from people with the project ;]
i said i won't talk about him that much but this won't be much. Jealousy is bad. i shouldn't any thoughts of that kind!! i'm so observant of what he does. i stare at him sometimes and sometimes i think he sees me just looking into his eyes. there are people that he's probably known wayyy longer so there's no reason to have jealousy. i feel like i do have this click with him. i wait for him because he's worth it. he's someone that i like very much but i don't want him to know. i love how he treats me so nice even though its just a sister thing. i feel so warm in my heart as i write about him =) i'm just wishing that tomorrow's plans will go well nd he will be with me the whole time. i enjoy my time with him. i want them to go as slow as possible and never end.
sometimes i hope for so much more that was never there and may never be there...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
i failed...
i def failed that math test today...i answered 1 out of 13 questions T_T i had the theorems but i didnt know how to apply any of them!! im so fustrated and trying to study right now...
talking to him is such a distraction but i love it =) we think alike.
dance practice i stayed for a bit then went to hb. it wass suppose to be in the gym but then they wanted to play outside again so we went to this park behind a church. i think it was called Brooklyn First Baptist Church. the courts there were alright. it was my first time doing ref today =) i did good. dana got to sub in for 3rd singles and vikii for 1st doubles. i'm happy for them =) we played our last game and we have a Bye for the first round of playoffs. we're seed #1!!! and the guys team is #3. let's go tech!!! i'm pretty sure i can make Tim's game on saturday and continuing cheering on tech!!
OD homework!!!
talking to him is such a distraction but i love it =) we think alike.
dance practice i stayed for a bit then went to hb. it wass suppose to be in the gym but then they wanted to play outside again so we went to this park behind a church. i think it was called Brooklyn First Baptist Church. the courts there were alright. it was my first time doing ref today =) i did good. dana got to sub in for 3rd singles and vikii for 1st doubles. i'm happy for them =) we played our last game and we have a Bye for the first round of playoffs. we're seed #1!!! and the guys team is #3. let's go tech!!! i'm pretty sure i can make Tim's game on saturday and continuing cheering on tech!!
OD homework!!!
ddp ish so boring
yes i am bored enough to blog in DDP >.>
it's a thursday and i needa either go to handball game or dance. most likely hb cuz it's the last game of the season. and christina got korean club so she won't be there till pretty late. then tomorrows is shopping! i actually don't wanna go...no money nd i don't wanna waste money shoping for clothes that i might not wear a second time. like those short shorts.... i wish the vests were cheaper T_T $20 for a vest!!! so expensive! i sound so asian!! ahhh i gotta get back to work..mr. losey is.....
it's a thursday and i needa either go to handball game or dance. most likely hb cuz it's the last game of the season. and christina got korean club so she won't be there till pretty late. then tomorrows is shopping! i actually don't wanna go...no money nd i don't wanna waste money shoping for clothes that i might not wear a second time. like those short shorts.... i wish the vests were cheaper T_T $20 for a vest!!! so expensive! i sound so asian!! ahhh i gotta get back to work..mr. losey is.....
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
report card
grades are as follows
English - 80[she hates me...]
Global- 92
French - 80
DDP - 85
Bio lab - 96
Gym - 90
Biology - 85
Math - 65
Overall - 83.42
i'm actually happy i got a 65 in math cuz i passed!! i'm really happy but i needa get that avg higher!! i gotta gotta do better!!!! i gotta try harder!
English - 80[she hates me...]
Global- 92
French - 80
DDP - 85
Bio lab - 96
Gym - 90
Biology - 85
Math - 65
Overall - 83.42
i'm actually happy i got a 65 in math cuz i passed!! i'm really happy but i needa get that avg higher!! i gotta gotta do better!!!! i gotta try harder!
let's go TECH!
wooohhh!! let's go tech vball!
let's go timmy yan!
into the quarterfinals on saturday!
we got this yo!
lolol mad fun at the game! we won the last 2 games and tim did very well! he got lots of digs and made nice serves. i saw my gym teacher there o.o it was weird... i got on the same train with her also. tim did a great job, i can't wait for the game saturday!
i got the funiest video of nelson screaming"DIE!!" when he's playing halo LOL he kept screaming for 7 minutes and i couldnt stop laughing! its on facebook.
i wanna see him, i wanna hear his voice more and more every single day. does this mean something? i'll keep it at this. still talking to him on aim. convincing him for saturday.
let's go timmy yan!
into the quarterfinals on saturday!
we got this yo!
lolol mad fun at the game! we won the last 2 games and tim did very well! he got lots of digs and made nice serves. i saw my gym teacher there o.o it was weird... i got on the same train with her also. tim did a great job, i can't wait for the game saturday!
i got the funiest video of nelson screaming"DIE!!" when he's playing halo LOL he kept screaming for 7 minutes and i couldnt stop laughing! its on facebook.
i wanna see him, i wanna hear his voice more and more every single day. does this mean something? i'll keep it at this. still talking to him on aim. convincing him for saturday.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
baptism classes
baptism classes are starting may 31st. should i go? they encourage the new leaders for next year to go and i want to be a student leader next year also hmms... thats friend day too.
high school has so much drama...
yo seriously im so sick of this high school drama! especially with these guys! this one guy asking so many girls out and...im not gonna say anymore but it's just so stupid!
high school drama is stupid thats why i don't hang out with em as much. it might get to me, and i'll start thinking too much on love and relationships. right now i gotta get my school work done and get a good grade for the final marking period! i'm gonna watch tims vball game tomorrow most probably but i'll need someone to go with!! i got dance practice and they're gonna be looking at clothes too. i dont really care what i'm wearing. i hope tomorrow goes well.
i'm refraining from talking to him so much and talking about him also. i'm just glad he's not in tech...so much drama..i'm so happy i pulled myself out in time =) and i can take my time in finding out how much i like a person nd how he likes me. only time can tell as he said to me.
high school drama is stupid thats why i don't hang out with em as much. it might get to me, and i'll start thinking too much on love and relationships. right now i gotta get my school work done and get a good grade for the final marking period! i'm gonna watch tims vball game tomorrow most probably but i'll need someone to go with!! i got dance practice and they're gonna be looking at clothes too. i dont really care what i'm wearing. i hope tomorrow goes well.
i'm refraining from talking to him so much and talking about him also. i'm just glad he's not in tech...so much drama..i'm so happy i pulled myself out in time =) and i can take my time in finding out how much i like a person nd how he likes me. only time can tell as he said to me.
ai ne, ni ne, wo men de i will remember
listening to music in DDP ;D ai ne - S.H.E and singing randomly to annoy lily :]
i should stop talking about him so much... i been talking about him on this blog soooo much this past past and i been thinking too much. if he wants me as a sister i will cherish that relationship that we have. brothers and sisters in Christ ;D until one day he realizes i will not tell him a thing. and i got a whole summer to think about this! i should be focusing on school. im happy with how sweet he is and how much he cares already. this is more then enough. maybe a few people that keep up with my blog has realized who he is...but even so i hope no one will ruin this relationship we have now. brothers and sisters in Christ <3
~happiness with JC [from justin's cardboard testimony]
ai zai ji yi zhong zhao ni...
i didnt have a dream with him in it last night. so maybe the dream didnt get interrupted and it ended happily.
i should stop talking about him so much... i been talking about him on this blog soooo much this past past and i been thinking too much. if he wants me as a sister i will cherish that relationship that we have. brothers and sisters in Christ ;D until one day he realizes i will not tell him a thing. and i got a whole summer to think about this! i should be focusing on school. im happy with how sweet he is and how much he cares already. this is more then enough. maybe a few people that keep up with my blog has realized who he is...but even so i hope no one will ruin this relationship we have now. brothers and sisters in Christ <3
~happiness with JC [from justin's cardboard testimony]
ai zai ji yi zhong zhao ni...
i didnt have a dream with him in it last night. so maybe the dream didnt get interrupted and it ended happily.
Monday, May 11, 2009
music medley
"we cry holy, holy, holy.
and we cry holy, holy, holy
and we cry holy, holy, holy
is the Lamb
we lay our crown at the feet of Jesus. "
"hold me in your arms
never let me go
i wanna spend an eternity with you"
"before the day
before the light
before the world revolved around the sun....
he has filled our hearts with wonders
so that we always remember
you and i are made to worship
you and i are forgiven and freeee"
"one way, Jesus
you're the only one that i could live for
one way, Jesus
you're the only one that i could love for
you are the way the truth and the light
i live by faith and not by sight for You
i'm living all for You..."
"there's a piece i've come to known
though my heart and flesh may fail....
Jesus has overcome
and the grave is overwhelmed
the victory is won He is risen from the dead
and i will rise when He calls my name
no more sorrow, no more pain
i will rise on eagles wings
before my God fall on my knees.."
"there is no like our God
there is no like our God
for greater things have yet to come
and greater things are still to be done
in this cittyyyy
you're the God of this city
you're the king of these people
you're the Lord of this nation
you are..."
"my chains are gone
i've been set free
my God, my savior has ransomed me
and like a flood his mercy reigns
unending love
amazing grace"
"everyone needs compassion
a love thats never failing
let mercy fall on me
everyone needs forgiveness
the kindness of a savior
the hope of nations
savior he can move the mountains
my God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave."
"praise is rising hearts are turning to you
we turn to you...
and when we see you we find strength to take the day
and in your presence all our fears are washed away
are washed away!!
hosanna, hosanna
you are God who saves us
worthy of all our praises."
"so it's with everything i have
i reach out for your hand
the hope that changed the second chance i've gained
on you i throw my life
casting all my fears aside
how can greater love then this
every possibly exist"
"unify us, purify us
so that we will change the world
so that we will change the world"
"Lord Jesus, come lead us
we're desperate for your touch
o great and mighty God
with one desire we come
that you that you would reign in us
we're offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that you would reign
that you would reign in us"
~my music and lyrics that stand out to me <3
and we cry holy, holy, holy
and we cry holy, holy, holy
is the Lamb
we lay our crown at the feet of Jesus. "
"hold me in your arms
never let me go
i wanna spend an eternity with you"
"before the day
before the light
before the world revolved around the sun....
he has filled our hearts with wonders
so that we always remember
you and i are made to worship
you and i are forgiven and freeee"
"one way, Jesus
you're the only one that i could live for
one way, Jesus
you're the only one that i could love for
you are the way the truth and the light
i live by faith and not by sight for You
i'm living all for You..."
"there's a piece i've come to known
though my heart and flesh may fail....
Jesus has overcome
and the grave is overwhelmed
the victory is won He is risen from the dead
and i will rise when He calls my name
no more sorrow, no more pain
i will rise on eagles wings
before my God fall on my knees.."
"there is no like our God
there is no like our God
for greater things have yet to come
and greater things are still to be done
in this cittyyyy
you're the God of this city
you're the king of these people
you're the Lord of this nation
you are..."
"my chains are gone
i've been set free
my God, my savior has ransomed me
and like a flood his mercy reigns
unending love
amazing grace"
"everyone needs compassion
a love thats never failing
let mercy fall on me
everyone needs forgiveness
the kindness of a savior
the hope of nations
savior he can move the mountains
my God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
forever author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave."
"praise is rising hearts are turning to you
we turn to you...
and when we see you we find strength to take the day
and in your presence all our fears are washed away
are washed away!!
hosanna, hosanna
you are God who saves us
worthy of all our praises."
"so it's with everything i have
i reach out for your hand
the hope that changed the second chance i've gained
on you i throw my life
casting all my fears aside
how can greater love then this
every possibly exist"
"unify us, purify us
so that we will change the world
so that we will change the world"
"Lord Jesus, come lead us
we're desperate for your touch
o great and mighty God
with one desire we come
that you that you would reign in us
we're offering up our lives
a living sacrifice
that you would reign
that you would reign in us"
~my music and lyrics that stand out to me <3
he just makes me smile!!!
i gotta start out with the dream i had last night. he was in it again ;] this time it was him and his other friend playing guitar and drums at church. that's all i really remember but he's in my dreams so much now!! i feel so connected to him in a way :] he may not remember when we started talking to much but i do <3
i had common time today so i went to stuy and i was gonna give liana a surprise!! but she didnt pick up :[ i thought she left at 2 but she gets out 330. and by then i was at the ferry already. it's so hard dragging justin to hb =.= i was gonna go to battery park with him to hb with carmen but he wanted to go home. it was mad weird not letting go of him on the street. kinda akward too >.> so i couldnt get him to go to battery park nd he ran off to the train. yes i was being stubborn lol i really wanted to play! so i followed him to the ferry, i actually wanted to play in staten island. lol i saw william at the ferry and we went on the ferry together. when we got off the ferry in staten island justin tried to get away but once again i wouldnt let go of his bag lolol but he still got away...he had to go home D: and i fell again but i scratched up my elbow a bit this time. so then i went to hb with david and william. william suck =p justin can beat him hahas. i got home pretty late tho. at 8 =T i was hoping to get home earlier. got loads of hw!
i go in depth with every word he says to me :[ i'm trying to figure how he thinks of me....thats bad. today i felt so happy just having to grab onto someone i really like. although he may call me unwilling to let go it should show just how much i like him...this is truly different from anything i felt before. but as he just said on aim, im not a friend. i'm a sister to him. that's all, nothing more then a sister. and i really think he thinks of me as a sister and nothing else. unlike me i like the weirdest guys. not excatly weird but the average azn that is different to me. i have the greatest time just talking to him. i like it now. just talking and i'm laughing ang smiling at everything he says ;] i hope it stays like this forever. i don't want this happiness to leave although i know he just thinks of me as a sister i think of his as more. i think of him as someone i want to be with forever. he's just great. talking about the weirdest things and helping me out whenever.
~happines with JC
i had common time today so i went to stuy and i was gonna give liana a surprise!! but she didnt pick up :[ i thought she left at 2 but she gets out 330. and by then i was at the ferry already. it's so hard dragging justin to hb =.= i was gonna go to battery park with him to hb with carmen but he wanted to go home. it was mad weird not letting go of him on the street. kinda akward too >.> so i couldnt get him to go to battery park nd he ran off to the train. yes i was being stubborn lol i really wanted to play! so i followed him to the ferry, i actually wanted to play in staten island. lol i saw william at the ferry and we went on the ferry together. when we got off the ferry in staten island justin tried to get away but once again i wouldnt let go of his bag lolol but he still got away...he had to go home D: and i fell again but i scratched up my elbow a bit this time. so then i went to hb with david and william. william suck =p justin can beat him hahas. i got home pretty late tho. at 8 =T i was hoping to get home earlier. got loads of hw!
i go in depth with every word he says to me :[ i'm trying to figure how he thinks of me....thats bad. today i felt so happy just having to grab onto someone i really like. although he may call me unwilling to let go it should show just how much i like him...this is truly different from anything i felt before. but as he just said on aim, im not a friend. i'm a sister to him. that's all, nothing more then a sister. and i really think he thinks of me as a sister and nothing else. unlike me i like the weirdest guys. not excatly weird but the average azn that is different to me. i have the greatest time just talking to him. i like it now. just talking and i'm laughing ang smiling at everything he says ;] i hope it stays like this forever. i don't want this happiness to leave although i know he just thinks of me as a sister i think of his as more. i think of him as someone i want to be with forever. he's just great. talking about the weirdest things and helping me out whenever.
~happines with JC
Sunday, May 10, 2009
thank you for the cross
thank you for the cross.
because without it we would not be saved
and without being saved
we wouldn't know what love feels
the love of God.
i just finished talking to him on aim. he just signed off. i really hope i am going to see him tomorrow. i hope i can catch him before he leaves school!! sometimes he can be a distraction. when i'm talking to him i do nothing else but wait for his reply. i feel like i talked to him for such little time today :[ in the morning i got to talk to him and on aim also but it feels like it was so little time. i enjoy just talking to him. :] i hope i can see him tomorrow >.<
let's go tim__ yan!!
i'm so gonna watch his game wednesday!! but theres a tao test thursday :[
because without it we would not be saved
and without being saved
we wouldn't know what love feels
the love of God.
i just finished talking to him on aim. he just signed off. i really hope i am going to see him tomorrow. i hope i can catch him before he leaves school!! sometimes he can be a distraction. when i'm talking to him i do nothing else but wait for his reply. i feel like i talked to him for such little time today :[ in the morning i got to talk to him and on aim also but it feels like it was so little time. i enjoy just talking to him. :] i hope i can see him tomorrow >.<
let's go tim__ yan!!
i'm so gonna watch his game wednesday!! but theres a tao test thursday :[
mothers day ;]
weeee its mother's day and its a sunday. perfect day for me :] i helped justin with his card nd writing a bunch of stuff in chinese. i helped nelson write on this stick he got for his mom. so whenever he's gonna get hit he'll remember. that was a pretty cool idea. we went to pearl paint just for cards and that stick. i ended up going to school late while i was working on that card. i put it under moms pillow so helpfully she'll notice it. it'll be sad if she doesnt tonight :[
once again i look upon the cross where you died
i'm humbled by your mercy and im broken inside
once again i thank you
once again i pour out my love
-matt redman
these words speak for itself.
yea i'm starting think & write about him alot. it may seem too obvious who he is to some people that hang out with me alot. i'm just so happy when i'm with him. today as he sat next me i felt so happy. and we'll be in the same workshops next week also. we have so many similarities. it's so different from anything i felt before. it really is. and i'm not rushing into anything. i really love our relationship now close friends ;] well i consider him one but i don't think he does. he has one really close friend nd we all hangout together. it's really fun. today he made my day happy even though i got a bit mad at him lol joahaeyo!
once again i look upon the cross where you died
i'm humbled by your mercy and im broken inside
once again i thank you
once again i pour out my love
-matt redman
these words speak for itself.
yea i'm starting think & write about him alot. it may seem too obvious who he is to some people that hang out with me alot. i'm just so happy when i'm with him. today as he sat next me i felt so happy. and we'll be in the same workshops next week also. we have so many similarities. it's so different from anything i felt before. it really is. and i'm not rushing into anything. i really love our relationship now close friends ;] well i consider him one but i don't think he does. he has one really close friend nd we all hangout together. it's really fun. today he made my day happy even though i got a bit mad at him lol joahaeyo!
love_story
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys&feature=channel_page
thats a nice song.
piano cello of love story and viva la vida.
i notice i talk more and more about him. :]
thats a nice song.
piano cello of love story and viva la vida.
i notice i talk more and more about him. :]
it just makes me smile
today was parent appreciation day. when i woke up this morning i remembered the happiest dream that i had. i remembered this one part that we interlocked arms crossing a street. it could feel my heart beating so fast but a split second later i jumped away and knew it was a dream because i knew it couldn't happen. he never had a girlfriend before. i learned of that today. yea as the day went on it was fine. we kinda messed up the songs today...we changed songs last minute which made it worse. i lacked confidence today when i was translating :[ i couldn't translate off the top of my head. i was so nervous and afraid. my heart was beating so fast and i was shaking...i wasn't as nervous when the day went on. i probably sounded bad...but the day was nice :] we played the banana game! i had to eat a banana and a bao! but i threw up the bao afterwards...
after we were done with everything me felix stanley and carmen went around EC then was thinking of karaoking but we didn't. we bumped into debby so we went to soho with her. stanley was also job hunting ;D he got a Levi's application and ae was only hiring full time. i went into this beautiful furniture store that had amazing stuff. there was this see through piano!! i loved it! and the chairs there was awesome nd looked so comfortable. i would def. get my furniture there but its so pricey! i had a good day :]
i'm so glad to see that he IMed me when i got home :] but i know he's not looking for anything more then friendship. i remembered someones words. we only care about love at this age when we should be focusing on God. it still makes me happy. we talked for about 3 nd half hours. :] we always talk. like i don't even plan out what to say it just comes to me what i wanna say to him. its so comfortable talking to him. as of today 3,315 kb of chat on his new sn too. we didnt talk much back then but during his trip in spring break we started talking everyday after that. when he was away he talked to me on aim and we had chats about random stuff. i really do have a crush on him but i just can't use the word love yet. its too frequently used and not even used in the right context. except for loving God. i'm really just happy seeing him and talking to him. i look for him through the crowds and i find him. :] its what a crush can bring. his joy and happiness brings me joy and happiness. i would leave my first time karaoking to be with him. i would do even the smallest things that matter. he might not remember but i do. i like the way it is now. we're always talking and having fun together.my aim statuses relfect on his too. a crush has changed me so much in a good way. i hope the summer goes well with him ;] and i'll be seeing him tomorrow.
after we were done with everything me felix stanley and carmen went around EC then was thinking of karaoking but we didn't. we bumped into debby so we went to soho with her. stanley was also job hunting ;D he got a Levi's application and ae was only hiring full time. i went into this beautiful furniture store that had amazing stuff. there was this see through piano!! i loved it! and the chairs there was awesome nd looked so comfortable. i would def. get my furniture there but its so pricey! i had a good day :]
i'm so glad to see that he IMed me when i got home :] but i know he's not looking for anything more then friendship. i remembered someones words. we only care about love at this age when we should be focusing on God. it still makes me happy. we talked for about 3 nd half hours. :] we always talk. like i don't even plan out what to say it just comes to me what i wanna say to him. its so comfortable talking to him. as of today 3,315 kb of chat on his new sn too. we didnt talk much back then but during his trip in spring break we started talking everyday after that. when he was away he talked to me on aim and we had chats about random stuff. i really do have a crush on him but i just can't use the word love yet. its too frequently used and not even used in the right context. except for loving God. i'm really just happy seeing him and talking to him. i look for him through the crowds and i find him. :] its what a crush can bring. his joy and happiness brings me joy and happiness. i would leave my first time karaoking to be with him. i would do even the smallest things that matter. he might not remember but i do. i like the way it is now. we're always talking and having fun together.my aim statuses relfect on his too. a crush has changed me so much in a good way. i hope the summer goes well with him ;] and i'll be seeing him tomorrow.
Friday, May 8, 2009
happy birthday xin ru
i felt mad down yesterday but today i'm better. it's xin ru's birthday today!! i baked her a cake and i made one for cana also. i gotta go hb today then to churchh. i got my track jacket yesterday too! everyone on the team has one. we gotta take the official team picture today so everyone gotta have their uniforms. nothingmuch gong on now but i'm waiting for mr. losey to grade my very crappy project....
ahhh im thinking about him again. i'm not up to the stage where i'm all over him but it's just a crush but i know i'm at the point where i'm concerned of how he looks at me. i'm always wondering what he thinks of me. i know for sure that he isnt't thinking of liking someone yet tho. i shouldn't be thinking of this either but i guess this is what a high school crush is right? i'm gonna see him later after i leave hb. i hope i don't show up to bible study late tho >.<
ahhh im thinking about him again. i'm not up to the stage where i'm all over him but it's just a crush but i know i'm at the point where i'm concerned of how he looks at me. i'm always wondering what he thinks of me. i know for sure that he isnt't thinking of liking someone yet tho. i shouldn't be thinking of this either but i guess this is what a high school crush is right? i'm gonna see him later after i leave hb. i hope i don't show up to bible study late tho >.<
Thursday, May 7, 2009
dropped to the bottom
do you ever get that feeling like you dropped to the bottom of everything and can never get back up?
what are u suppose to do when it comes to that?
do you ever get get that feeling that you just wanna take a knife and end your life?
is it right to be done with life?
can you just leave and be done with everything?
i'm done with life. done with everything.
what are u suppose to do when it comes to that?
do you ever get get that feeling that you just wanna take a knife and end your life?
is it right to be done with life?
can you just leave and be done with everything?
i'm done with life. done with everything.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
AP classes?
should i go for AP world next year? i'm doing pretty good in global hmmss i'll ask holland about it tomorrow.
....... nd seeing him just makes me smile :] seeing his smile and his generosity. this time it's different like i can take my time and not rush. this one-sided crush is bittersweet. God has a plan for everything and that will bring all my stress away.
....... nd seeing him just makes me smile :] seeing his smile and his generosity. this time it's different like i can take my time and not rush. this one-sided crush is bittersweet. God has a plan for everything and that will bring all my stress away.
simplicity
simplicity is not something that stays forever. justin said something similar to me yesterday. haven't seen him in ages, he's in madison now. well i just now realized that simplicity doesn't stay forever but i'll keep it as long as it can. so i'll keep it this simple as long as i can. it's the best now cuz we're always talking everyday about the randomest stuff and i'm happy. i want to keep it at that till he realizes or til something happens. cuz right now i'm happy and i want this simplicity to last :]
~beauty of simplicity
~beauty of simplicity
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
stressed up again!!
ughhh i dropped Jesus Day thing but i still got handball and dance that i still gotta hold onto! dance i haven't been showing up till today and i really needa go more! and handball i really dont want hoffy to think that i'm not committed or anything. i really don't even know how to hold onto these two things. i really hope that the playoff games aren't on the same week as the culture showw cuz that week is gonna be hectic. i hope people from Bible study can come watch ;D i worked so hard trying to remember the moves even though i don't go so often. i really gotta hold the stress down. there was a point that i didnt even know what to do anymore and i just wanted to cry it out but crying does nothing. i gotta learn how to juggle all these things around or know not to take so many of these things next year. i dont think i can even go see YGS II.it's on a friday and friday is my day at church and chilling :]
me and my stupid self started thinking again and i keep getting myself even more stressed...
me and my stupid self started thinking again and i keep getting myself even more stressed...
Monday, May 4, 2009
i will go Lord send me.
sunday was amazing. the set was awesome with I Will Go. i recorded it and its on facebook. that song has so much meaning and when i heard JAMS playing it i felt God's presence like He was there watching over us. it was also my first time in sunday school. we were learning about lives of famous missionaries and i bumped into Joy in the elevator so i knew were to go :] im happy that i went ^_^ i'm probably gonna go every week.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
I WILL GO!!
"I Will Go"
To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be
[Chorus:]
I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I'm clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me
Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to see the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change
[Chorus]
I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you
[Repeat 3x]
[Chorus]
Send me! [4x]
amazing song. It's gonna be the best tomorrow.
To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be
[Chorus:]
I will go, I will go
I will go, Lord send me
To the world, To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I'm clay within your hands
I will go, I will go, send me
Let me not be blind with privilege
Give me eyes to see the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain
Let this life be used for change
[Chorus]
I wanna live for you
Go where you lead me
I wanna follow you
[Repeat 3x]
[Chorus]
Send me! [4x]
amazing song. It's gonna be the best tomorrow.
sun shine through the rain.
The sun shines through the rain. Today was awesome playing in the rain then having the sun come down on us. I wonder if i got a tan from today. One thing's for sure, my sunburn started peeling T_T It looks so ugly too!! I hope it goes away soon. I noticed something funny when I play. Like when it rains I can't power at all! But when the sun came out today, I started powering like crazy! Like all my power came back as soon as the sun came out. And like my arm didn't hurt when i swing anymore. I didn't even know that tanning is possible even the sun isn't out. UV rays gives you tan so as long there is UV rays then you can get a tan. That's so cool! Today is basically the last full saturday of handball for a while. Next saturday is Parent Appreciation Day then the saturday after that is going to museum of natural history with them and memorial day weekend Justin will be going to camping. I wanna go camping too! I never went camping before or even sleep in a tent =[ Hopefully when all the regents and finals are over we can have a full saturday of handball again.
Now that I think of it, it's not much....or at least that's what I think. There's warm feeling whenever I talk to him and when I see him I feel happy. Every second every minute I'm with him I feel happy, it's full of joy and laughter =] but there are still things unsure of =T ahhh just more of my troubles that I shouldn't be thinking of. I gotta wait till summer for this!! This won't bother me much I guess cuz I don't see him in school so another 2 months till I think of this isn't that long. =]
Now that I think of it, it's not much....or at least that's what I think. There's warm feeling whenever I talk to him and when I see him I feel happy. Every second every minute I'm with him I feel happy, it's full of joy and laughter =] but there are still things unsure of =T ahhh just more of my troubles that I shouldn't be thinking of. I gotta wait till summer for this!! This won't bother me much I guess cuz I don't see him in school so another 2 months till I think of this isn't that long. =]
Friday, May 1, 2009
i live for my weekends
i love my weekends. its not just a few days off from school but on these days i hang out with the people i love <3 i strive for my weekends as someone had said and its true. i do so many things during the week and its so stressful but when the weekends finally comes....i see the people that make me smile :] church fills my weekends up with happiness cuz everyone is so nice and i just love it. also being in bible study i learn alot. then saturdays i handball with them. and sundays of course is cana. i enjoy my weekends so much. today at Bible study was learning that hell is a real place that even Jesus had mentioned. theres even passages in The Bible that backup this.
i also realized somthing. after talking to dana about it yesterday, i asked myself what do i feel when i see him? so today i did ask myself that question and theres that best buddies and another feeling =T i don't know what it is but im trying to figure it out. "it's tearing up my heart when i'm with you, but when we are apart i feel it too"
i also realized somthing. after talking to dana about it yesterday, i asked myself what do i feel when i see him? so today i did ask myself that question and theres that best buddies and another feeling =T i don't know what it is but im trying to figure it out. "it's tearing up my heart when i'm with you, but when we are apart i feel it too"
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