long weekend?

i guess i can say that. much has happened and i realized that i don't really care what he thinks anymore. but if he did say something to me i would respond. it's been too long anyways. like i always say there's so much more to life!
anywayyyy 12.19.09- first snow storm!! it's so beautiful u know? God's creation is simply beautiful.
12.20.09 - i thought there was chinese school....ended up that it was canceled and i was all dressed up wtheckk D: a lot happened that day. i gave out christmas gifts, went to SoHo and boom Ricky was feeling down down down down down. i was so worried that i cried at the renovation banquet. but i had kingston there to give me a big warm hug, minna to talk to and the rest of cana there to ask if i was feeling alright. with everyone there trying to make me happy, how can i possibly feel sad? i love cana <3 thanks rachael and sharon making the banquet quite fun and bringing that smile back on my face. and i'm glad Ricky has been feeling better. i pray that he'll continue to be happier!
12.21.09 - Seeker's was....awesome! jacob went :D really happy that i can get more people to come. and we had an amazing time. the cookies were good!! and i WILL find out who sent those cards lol that person was so smart to type out everything and not handwrite rawrr and Ricky was continuing to feel better!
12.22.09 - today went by pretty quick. i'm still debating whether to finish the gift and give it to him...like the meaning is gone already...i'll just put it all in the card
and just talked to some that doesn't care if i cut cuz he honestly can't keep tabs on me, i really remembered every word he said. those words hurt but it was the truth... the truth hurts. i needed someone to talk to that i trusted everything with before. wtheckk...feeling down pray for me please

i hope the Christmas spirit will cheer me up. can't wait till we start caroling in chinatown :]