freedom of religion

my sister, angela just asked me now, are you becoming a Christian now? are you not a Buddhist?

this really shocked me, it came outta nowhere. how was i suppose to answer? tell the truth? i just said, freedom of religion. dont i have a freedom of religion or is it the culture that we grew up in tells us who we are? who am i? whose am i? i am God's child. HE is my heavenly father. i could have went on and on about this but doesnt she know who i am? didn't she see in the summer? in my heart i wanted to scream out this YES! i am a Christian but i didn't. it's so painful denying it but what will happen if i tell the truth....these words are stuck in my heart and it's just so hard to say within this family that are Buddhists. was i ever Buddhist? i always thought its the Chinese tradition that we do these things. i never really thought that it was religious even though i saw it in tvb. but by doing these things it writes out who we are. even if we haven't somehow accepted their religion, just being born into this family marked me as a Buddhist. God can see that i am not. everytime i am forced to do those religious things, i cry out to God. i ask for his forgiveness because i can't deny my parents. but again and again i continue to do this. what is wrong with me?! shouldn't i have the courage to tell my parents the relationship i have with God?

where is this courage?
i just feel empty not saying anything....